


Hanging By A Moment

by Queenie_004



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Missing Scene, Romantic Gestures, Second Chances, Sexy Times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 15:29:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14621619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenie_004/pseuds/Queenie_004
Summary: After returning to Stamford to comfort Rae, Finn "Not Good at Speakin'" Nelson attempts to use words to gain a second chance with her. Rae "Always Bangin' on About It'" Earl has a different idea about reuniting.If, like me, you watched the final minutes of the season 2 finale bouncing in your seat screaming, "More! More! We need more of this!!" at your screen - then this is for you.Like all writers I crave feedback! Please share in the comments if you have any and thank you for reading!





	1. "...about you and me"

**Author's Note:**

> Desperate for changing, starving for truth  
> I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you
> 
> I'm falling even more in love with you  
> Letting go of all I've held onto  
> I'm standing here until you make me move  
> I'm hanging by a moment here with you
> 
> Forgetting all I'm lacking  
> Completely incomplete  
> I'll take your invitation  
> You take all of me now
> 
> I'm falling even more in love with you  
> Letting go of all I've held onto  
> I'm standing here until you make me move  
> I'm hanging by a moment here with you
> 
> I'm living for the only thing I know  
> I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
> And I don't know what I'm diving into  
> Just hanging by a moment here with you
> 
> There's nothing else to lose  
> There's nothing else to find  
> There's nothing in the world  
> That can change my mind
> 
> There is nothing else  
> There is nothing else  
> There is nothing else

He had never realized how fast his moods could change until he’d met Rae Earl. The past few hours—shit, the past several months since he’d met her was like being on some kind of carnival ride where you can’t see the track ahead and have no idea if you are about to slide smoothly around a gentle curve or be plunged into a terrifying free fall as high as a building.

Today alone he had started the night being anxious but hopeful about their relationship. Since he surprised her at the hospital and finally started to tell her exactly why he liked her he had let himself believe there was a second chance waiting for them, he just had to take it and not listen to the part of him that was scared of the rejection. He didn’t think he could take another rejection from her now, now that he was even farther gone than he’d been the first time. When she’d let him leave for Leeds it just about broke him.

When he arrived at the pub he was so happy to see her he knew that his face was not hiding anything. And fuck she looked pretty. _So_ pretty with her hair soft and wavy and a small smile that he liked to believe was reserved for him alone. Yes, he had pretty much cataloged her smiles because they could be few and far between and he loved how each one lit up her entire adorable face. Christ he was in deep. He had been completely confident when he asked if they could go somewhere to talk alone, “about you and me”. He didn’t even acknowledge their friends all blatantly staring at them like they were watching a bloody show on the telly.

But then she’d said no, she didn’t want to talk and he faltered. He felt his heart drop and face fall. “Fuck” was all that was in his head in that moment “fuck, fuck, FUCK.” She held his gaze and the smile that he called his transformed into one he wasn’t quite as familiar with—maybe had only dreamed about—it was one that he might even call a bit naughty. He held his breath as she stepped closer to him giving him a proper look at what was happening with her mouth, “let’s go” she said quietly, “I wanna show you somethin’ instead.”

All he could hear was her voice and the blood pounding in his head but he was pretty sure the gang had gone silent and the noises of the pub dropped away to nothing. He wanted to kiss her so badly but he also felt completely unsure what the hell was actually going on and the last thing he wanted to do was ruin anything. He understood that this time around Rae was going to have to lead and he was meant to follow. He would follow her anywhere she asked so when she reached for his hand he broke her gaze to look down at their intertwined fingers and felt the smile returning to his face, big now, so big, like a big fucking idiot who did not care how big of a fucking idiot he looked because the girl he adored was now pulling him towards the door while calling over her shoulder to their friends, “Finn and I have to go, we’ll see you lot later.”

Outside he again resisted the urge to pull her into his arms and start covering her with kisses until neither of them could breathe. “Let her lead Nelson, let her lead” was running through his head. “You got your bike then?” she asked and he looked around dumbly because suddenly he couldn’t remember how he got there. “Uh. Yeah. There.” He pointed to the scooter and inwardly groaned at his inability to answer in anything less than one syllable. “Stop being a twat Nelson” became the new mantra on repeat. She looked at him expectantly and tipped her head in the direction she wanted them to go and when they got there she let him slip the helmet on and as she lifted her chin so he could fasten the strap he practically bit his tongue off trying not to lean over and butterfly kiss his way along her neck.

As they started off he heard her muffled voice direct him to go to hers and he nodded and was glad she couldn’t see his eyes look upward as he mouthed “YES” to the inky night sky above. He figured her mum was still in hospital and they would be alone. His mind rushed ahead to all the things they could do there alone together and almost as quickly as he went there, the fair ride took one of those scary turns when he realized maybe she was taking him there to not humiliate him in front of an audience by telling him to bugger off, it was never going to happen with them.

But then they were at her door and she got off his bike and he heard her laugh as she removed the helmet and teased how crap his driving had been and he laughed with her but didn’t tell her it was because he was in equal parts terror and ecstasy and concentrating on road signs was hard to maneuver with all that running through his body. Inside the house was silent and he asked how her mum was and she said she wasn’t home yet but she was doing better. Her new little sister was still under observation so Karim was also staying at the hospital for the night. She didn’t bother with any lights but headed right to the stairs that led up to her bedroom. She paused and looked at him and he stood unsteadily watching her and not daring to believe this was going to really happen. “You comin’ then or standin’ there all night?” she asked and he was surprised he didn’t leap over the sofa like some sort of American action hero sliding over the hood of a car.

Upstairs he looked expectantly towards her door but she was opening another one, one he knew was her mother’s, “where we goin’?” he whispered, although no one was there but them he couldn’t help but feel they had to be stealthy. “You’ll see” was all she said and they entered the room and before she switched on a light he could smell her—the room smelled like her hair, like her clothes that he liked to bury his nose in and inhale until he felt as if he was drowning in her. A dim lamp came on and he looked around in awe, “Rae—is this yours?” he asked stupidly, as if the posters on the walls weren’t clearly Rae Earl’s. She nodded and explained how the room came to be hers. It was cool and grown-up and she stood there next to the light and as he stared at her he realized she was motioning him over, over to her, over to her bed.

“Keep it the fuck together Nelson” was now buzzing loudly in his brain and he went to her like an eager puppy and she reached out her hands and touched him—she cradled his face and danced her fingers over the shells of his ears, her thumbs softly tracing his cheeks. Her smile was gone but her face was warm and open. She trusted him and he could see it in every curve of her beautiful face it was a face full of want, it was a face he recognized from the time they had lay squeezed onto her little bed in the other room as he slipped his fingers inside her and made her come so gorgeously right into the palm of his waiting hand. He didn’t want to recognize how many dozens, no, hundreds of times he had replayed that afternoon in his head, those delicious moments of pleasing her, the sexy little pout she’d given him when he’d had to leave.

She moves her fingers up into his hair and ruffles it a bit and he moves his hands to rest on her hips even though he wants so much, so fucking much to put them all over her body and under her clothes and inside her. But her fingers feel so good in his hair, soothing him and running along his scalp. He can feel his body relax a bit under her touch and marvels that she is not breaking eye contact with him. Usually Rae gets shy or closes up and takes away that little glimpse into her vulnerability that she allowed him. “Wouldya do something for me?” her voice is so soft and in his head he screams, “fuck yes I will do anything, literally any. fucking. thing. for you.” But what comes out of his mouth is another monosyllabic “yeah”. Christ Nelson you are such a knob.

“Can ya…”she hesitates a bit and her eyes dip down to his waist, “can ya get comfortable?” She looks up shyly at him and he’s not sure what she’s asking but he starts by shrugging off his jacket and when her eyes widen as it comes off he understands exactly what she’s asking him. He unbuttons the shirt underneath and tries not to look like he’s ready to strip naked in seconds. Down to his t-shirt and jeans she steps away from him and he stays still even though he wants to step right back up to her, he can’t stand the thought of any more space between them. Her eyes travel back down to his jeans and his gaze follows. He takes a sharp intake of breath and then moves his hands to his belt and begins to unbuckle it. For a second he’s afraid to look at her—afraid she’ll snap “Finn Nelson what in the actual fuck do you think you’re doing??” but what he hears instead is a soft hiss of breath from her, he can almost believe it is actually “yessssss.”

He slides the leather out of the loops and when it’s in his hands he looks right at her as he drops it on the floor. He’s feeling confident again and even feels a little bit in control for the first time tonight, his evidence is based on the fact that she looks proper turned on right now, her little bow mouth is open and her lips are wet, her eyes are wide and cheeks pink and he knows this look, he has seen this look on plenty of girls before but he has never loved seeing it as much as he loves seeing it on Rachel Earl right now. Realizing she’s been caught staring lustily at him she lifts her head up and he sees sharp, sassy Rae come back into the room, “well then, keep it goin' boy” she coos and she turns from him and grabs her dressing gown. “I’ll be right back, yeah?” she says and with his hands paused on the button of his jeans he nods excitedly, “I’ll be here”, he answers “Right here” and he points to the edge of her bed while reveling at the big, hungry grin that spreads across her face. And then she’s gone.


	2. "...much better than talkin'"

He sits at the end of her bed for her to return. He doesn’t want a phone to ring, or one of their drunken friends to randomly show up, or her stepdad to decide to come home after all. He wants this night to last forever and he also wants her to come back in so the night can get started. He’s in his boxers and t-shirt and his knee jiggles nervously as he waits. He runs his hands through his hair a few times and wonders if he should get up and check it in the mirror he sees across the room. He decides against it as it may make him look really vain (and like a right shallow prick) if she came out and saw him. He lifts his arms to make sure he smells OK and rests his elbows on his knees as he leans forward rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

He flips through the images of the last few weeks both the ones that have haunted him and the ones that have given him hope. There’s Rae looking relieved when he tells her he wants them to be friends again and making room for him to sit next to her; there she is at the fair with Chloe and those older lads he doesn’t trust—him watching warily as she wanders away with them in the dark while Olivia obliviously thrusts candy floss in his mouth. Oh yes, there is Olivia who was supposed to be a distraction from being dumped by Rae but instead he found himself holding her up to Rae in his mind for comparison and her always coming in second; there he is fumbling with his words, as usual, to break up with her and flinching when she starts crying and then he’s admitting to Chloe that he can’t get over his feelings for Rae. There he is volunteering to teach Rae how to defend herself in a possible fight over that twat Liam who he would enjoy punching in the face, his jabs getting harder as she talks about him and he senses there’s something between them that he can’t quite put his finger on but doesn’t like at all; there they are in her old bedroom with him silently pleading with her to give him a reason not to leave, and leaving Stamford when she didn’t; there’s the phone call and hang up that he knows is her and the restless night knowing in his gut that she needed him even if she would never say it. And then she’s standing there silently in the waiting room of the hospital with tears tipping from her eyes and he’s so happy to see her and he’s so proud of himself for being right for once—she did need him and he takes the opportunity to touch her using their secret code and finally tell her what he should have so many times before: exactly why she’s so fucking amazing.

Which brings him to the pub and their ride and right now this moment alone in her room and just then the door opens and here she is—his funny, beautiful, clever and complicated girl. She’s only wearing the robe and her hair is loose around her face and when she smiles at him it’s his smile, he knows for certain now only he gets to see this one. He stands up and walks over to her. “This is _much_ better than talkin',” he asserts and she teases him a little and he loves the hungry look in her eyes when he pulls his shirt off. He needs to have their skin touching and reaches to untie her robe but she stops him and his stomach does a flip as his brain reminds him once again to let her lead as she slips the tie apart and her robe falls open.

She is everything.

He wants to slow time down so seconds last for hours and he can commit every touch and inhale, every kiss and sigh to his memory forever. He knows this is their second chance as he brushes her hair back and lets his fingers press against the fabric of her robe gently pushing it off her shoulders as it falls to the floor.

She is all he has ever wanted.

He looks at her and sees shyness flicker across her face as she briefly ducks his gaze but then inhales and looks right at him. Slowly he cups her face in his hands and leans in to kiss her—God he loves kissing her and more than that he loves how she kisses him back so eager and tender. The time that they made out in the middle of the pub and when they pulled apart she uttered a breathless “Jaysus!” gave him fantasy material for weeks. He is so eager to please her in every single way he deepens the kiss and she moves her body against his and he groans deeply, loudly into her mouth at the unbelievable feeling of Rae Earl’s naked body against him. Her skin is so soft and she smells really fucking good. He feels her giggle escape between their smashed lips and he can’t help but smile because he’s so stupidly happy right now and they have hardly done anything! They’re still standing for fucks sake and for reasons he cannot fathom he still has his boxers on. He reluctantly disentangles his hands from her thick hair and moves to shove them off his hips but stops when she purses her lips and narrows her eyes looking like she’s about to scold him. He lifts his hands in the air as if he’s being arrested and she chuckles and whispers “good boy” and he thanks god that he listened to his own advice about letting her be in charge because it is hot as hell.

Her hands slip into the waistband and he inhales deeply as she gives them a little tug and then they are off his hips and he steps out and kicks them out of the way as she leans back and looks down at all of him and there it is again, “Jaaaaaysus!” he likes to think she sounds impressed and he pulls her back against him and his hardness presses into her softness and he realizes he really will have to slow things down because he wants to be inside her so badly making her scream his name. More kissing, more standing, more touching—she is no longer shy but helping herself to every inch of him as her hands roam over his back and fingers dig into his shoulders and hips and slide over his ass grabbing at him until he is panting at her ear, “touch me Rae, please, touch me” and she obliges, moving her hands between them and reaching for his cock she slides her palms over the length of him.

He is never letting her go again.

She likes what she’s doing to him he can feel that she is maneuvering them towards the bed and when they get there they hesitate about who is going to go where first. She seems to want to get right under the covers but he’s not having that. He knows she’s in charge but he wants to dispel any single fear she has about what he may think of her body. He gently pushes her towards the bed and motions for her to move up so her body is all his to take in. She flutters her hands across her stomach and turns her face from his as he crawls up to lay next to her. He takes her hand and opens the palm to kiss it then brushes her fingertips over his lips. “Look at me Rae” he whispers and she turns her head very slowly but keeps her eyes down. He knows she is self-conscious about her body, he knows now after much dissecting of their fight in the disabled toilet that she thinks she is not pretty enough to be with him. He thinks that is entirely bollocks and so as he moves his fingers over her body touching her breasts and thighs, the dimples and stretch marks he lets her know how wrong she is about all of it. “You are so fucking beautiful,” she snorts but he ignores it, “every inch of you is perfect Rae. Here,” he caresses from one shoulder to the other “to here,” traveling down her waist to her hips, “and here,” dragging his fingers along her thighs he feels the rough lines of the scars he first saw at Chloe’s pool so many months ago. One day he’ll ask her if she wants to tell him about them, but for now he presses his hand flat against them and squeezes gently, letting her know they don’t scare him. She puffs soft little breaths as he travels between her thighs and teasingly presses the heel of his hand against her, “and _definitely_ here,” she moans then and he catches the sound with his lips, kissing her tenderly as he continues to knead at her wetness.

“Please,” she cries, “please Finn” she thrusts her hips at him but he’s not done yet, he doesn’t believe she’s convinced yet that her body is a fucking temple and he is going to spend the rest of his days worshipping at it. So he moves on rubbing her belly and leans over to plant baby soft kisses along her curves as she grabs his head, her fingers tugging at his hair. His tongue darts out as he travels back up and finds a perfect hard nipple and as much as he wants to tease he can’t, he can’t stop himself from taking it in his mouth and pressing against it with his tongue while he cups her other breast with his hand and marvels at her fullness. She is proper writhing against him now and the little mewling sounds she’s making are like a drug he’s already addicted to. He lifts his face to look at her and her head is tossed back, black silky hair is spread all around and he can’t believe that this magnificent girl is all his.

He rises then above her his legs straddling hers and hovers over her with their bodies not quite touching, “Girl” he whispers and she tilts her head to look at him and she’s got arousal etched in every pore, her eyes are glassy and she grabs his head and kisses him hard as he slowly starts to glide his body against hers. “You’re so pretty” he manages between kisses, “I love your eyes” he breaks away to kiss each eyebrow, “your cute nose” he brushes the tip of his nose against hers and she giggles softly, “your lips, Christ Rae your lips—do you have any idea how much time I’ve spent starin’ at your lips and wantin’ to kiss them” he feathers his lips on hers. “You are perfect Rachel Earl. You are perfect for me.” She has tears in her eyes now, “do ya know that?” she nods yes but he wants to know she understands how deserving she is of everything, “tell me,” he urges and he watches her swallow and whisper, “I’m perfect for ya” he knows his grin is ridiculously huge because she laughs at him, which is a sound he has grown to adore. “And?” he prompts and for a moment she looks like she wants to turn away into herself but she doesn’t because she’s strong, he knows it and now she knows it too, “I’m beautiful” she breathes and a blush starts to break across her face and he kisses her triumphantly.

If this were a carnival ride it would be the most exhilarating ride of his life and one he never wants to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Hanging By A Moment / Lifehouse / (2000)


End file.
